ADHD and Foster Care
In 2023, my husband and I welcomed a 10-year-old foster daughter with ADHD and Trichotillomania (chronic hair-pulling). We had no prior experience with either of these diagnoses, so we had to learn in real time. At the beginning of this placement, we had no idea what we would need to be able to successfully help her. We spent an enormous amount of time researching different doctors, therapists and specialists who could give her the care she needed. Additionally, we spend a huge amount of money trying to provide her with items that might help increase her chance of success at school and home.
We felt very alone during this time. We didn’t know many other parents who had walked the path of ADHD or Trichotillomania with their children, and we had no one to turn to. To give her the privacy she deserves regarding her medical diagnoses, I didn’t want to ask publicly for any help from our friends or family. We asked for help from our foster agency and the county caseworker, but they were able to do very little. My husband and I ran ourselves ragged trying to help her, to the detriment of our other children and our own mental health.
This was one of the main experiences that helped me understand that our community needs The Unbound Collaborative. Foster and adoptive parents should not feel like they are navigating these situations alone. If we had known someone cared about the health of our family and wanted to help us, it would’ve reduced greatly reduced our stress.
According to CHADD (Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder), a diagnosis of ADHD occurs more often in children in the foster care system than in children not in the system. There can be many reasons for this, but often it is due to their background of unstable situations involving abuse, neglect and trauma. Statistics show that as high as 1 in 4 children in foster care have been diagnosed with ADHD.
Many things can make a long-term difference for children with ADHD, including medications, therapy and behavioral health treatments. However, foster and adoptive parents also have practical, day-to-day needs that help to assist them in raising children with ADHD with patience, love and attention.
So, how can Unbound support foster and adoptive families who have children diagnosed with ADHD? I believe there are many practical ways we can stand in this gap.
First, we can help parents find available providers in their area that take their insurance. If you are a foster or adoptive parent who is having trouble finding a provider that works for you and your child, please let us know. We can help with the legwork of finding a provider that will meet your needs.
Second, we can provide physical items that help children with ADHD symptoms function better. This includes fidget toys of all kinds (including quiet ones that can be used during school), stress balls, hand exercisers, Velcro, gum, chewable necklaces, doodling books, headphones, sound machines, weighted blankets, visual charts for behavior and responsibilities, chewable pencil toppers, and many more goods and toys.
Third, we can provide resources and books for these children and their families to help them understand what ADHD is, and ways that families can work together. One of the things our foster daughter struggled with most was self-doubt and thinking that her ADHD diagnosis made people dislike her. One of our favorite books for children with ADHD is called Just Ask! because it helps the child understand that having ADHD or any other disability isn’t their fault, and they are perfectly loveable as they are. There are many great books on this topic, and we can be a resource for families to have this valuable information.
Finally, we can help build a private network of foster and adoptive parents who have children with ADHD that could use the wisdom and support of other parents in this same situation. The children’s identities can stay protected, while the parents can find the help and encouragement they need.
We hope to launch these resources on a larger scale soon. In the meantime, if you are a parent who could benefit from any of these services, please reach out to Unbound so we can help.